Je reconcilie...

[Absaraka]

There has been a lot made about an email I sent one of the San D cosplayers last month.  For those of you who don't already know the story, don't ask; it's none of your business. Those of you who DO know what happened, I need to put my side of this on the record.  And please read me out before you hammer me.  I've intentionally given this some cool-down time, but this really needs to be said.
 
The reason I'm posting this in public?  From what I gather, quite a few people have either seen or been told about what I wrote.  And without knowing who's seen it and who hasn't, I have no choice but to apologize in public.

The reason I'm putting this in the Flame Pit?  Call me a pessimist, but quite frankly, I expect to get thoroughly roasted from all sides about this, as outnumbered and outgunned as I am.  This will likely end up here eventually, so I'll save the mods a thread move.  And even though I'm being typecast as the bad guy here, believe it or not, I actually don't want any of you guys getting in trouble.  I for one believe in turning the other cheek.

For those of you who've seen the email in question, I will offer no excuses.  None.  It was an absolutely STUPID thing to have written, and never mind to have sent.

Definition:
Id-i-ot-ic (adj): 1. Insanely irresponsible; 2. Completely devoid of wisdom or good sense.

That about sums it up, even in my own book.  I should not have written what I wrote; I shouldn't even have entertained the idea of sending it, and actually sending it should have been totally out of the question.  "Idiotic" might even be too polite a word, come to think of it.

So to everyone who saw that email, I AM SORRY.  I am going to regret sending that email for a very, very, very, VERY long time to come.  It does not accurately reflect the entirety of who I am: rather, it is the deepest, darkest, most terrifying corner of my soul. It's PART of me, yes; but it's not ALL of me.  Those of you who know my lighter side know--or should know--that I'm one of the good guys.  Really, I am. It's just that once in a very great while, well, you might just say the bull wins.  (Just ask the Utah Jazz.)

Rank stupidity, however, does not by itself make me a dangerous man.  I'm going to say this once, very slowly, and I want it to be crystal clear to all concerned.

I.

Do.
 
Not.
 
Assault.
 
My.

Friends.

Get it?  Got it?  Good.

Do I have my struggles?  Yes.  Is that everything you need to know about me?  Not even close.  Los Angeles may have South Central, but it also has Beverly Hills.  Washington may have Southeast, but it also has Georgetown.  Baltimore may have North Avenue, but it also has the Inner Harbor.  New York City may have the Lower East Side, but it also has...um...bad example, sorry.  I freely admit that I have my inner struggles, and yes, once in a very great while, I fail to keep tham all at bay.  My inner wars are not all that I am, however.  I also have my hopes, my triumphs, and a much lighter side than you think, and those who've met me in person should be able to vouch for that.

All of that said, though, there is still no excuse for what I sent.  None.  And I will offer no excuses.  The only thing I can do at this point is to apologize one more time to all of you who've seen it, and ask you all, please, to forgive me.

Absaraka Windholder

[Aignatius]

Well, over the years, I've tried to explain why I understand what you're going through to the best of my ability, but it tends to get kind of wordy and flaccid, and falls by the wayside.  The only time some people really notice what I say is when they get ticked off and insist on misunderstanding me.
Whatever...
One of the reasons I'm not so into going to Cons any longer is that the social politics is a bit beyond me. I have better things to do with my time. But I do appreciate when people are honest with themselves and aren't going to go spouting any empty rhetoric about fairness and what not, when they have trouble practicing it themselves.
It's not that I don't get along with anybody, but somehow people project their own weaknesses on others, and then only seem to notice it in the other person and not in themselves. It's human nature.
I've been thinking about certain things a long time, and now I'm speaking about them, regardless of what people think.

[Aignatius]

Which, this is why I won't bother replying to your pity pot stuff any more. You tend to ignore it. Whatevah... it's your life, do what you will!

[Absaraka]

I wasn't ignoring you.  (Appreciate the response, in fact.)  I just didn't have any idea what to say in response: there's nothing I can really add to what you said, and nothing I can really dispute.  So there's not much I can reply with, positive or negative.  I'm not going to just hit reply, say, OK, sure, and call it that.  Generally, if I don't know what to say, I tend to err on the side of keeping my mouth shut.  In this specific instance, I'm also going with the mindset that discretion is the better part of valor.  Normally, I'll talk a thread to death, but I'm guarding my words carefully on this one for several reasons.

No slight intended; but if I can't say anything productive, I'm going to bite my tongue.  Apologies for the hard feelings; none were intended.  Sorry to go this long without replying.  

Raka

[Aignatius]

Okay, no problem then, Raka. Thanks for the explanation.

[Absaraka]

And thanks for replying?  

[Aignatius]

And yes, thanks for replying.  

[Darth_CJJ]

I have no idea what this is about. I will say that I was in Baltimore not long ago. Sorry I didn't come and see you.

[Absaraka]

Eh.  I've moved: I'm just outside Washington, DC at this point.

And this little teakettle typhoon seems to have for the most part blown out, as far as I can tell.  

Where ya been, anyway?

Raka

[Darth_CJJ]

What do you mean where have I been?

We took 95 home from NJ. I wasn't far from where you are. Someday when I make the trip by myself I'll come and see you.