The site that greeted Don was certainly a surprise, and certainly worth a closer inspection. Raph was webbed to the fridge, and two 2’ foot spiders were scuttling into position to spray Raph with a can of Febreeze. Citrus scent to be exact, Raph’s preferred choice. Although admittedly not normally for personal use directly on himself.
Three others were arranged in a semi-circle that had to be a cheering section. Legs from under the fridge were tickling at Raph’s ankle. One was hanging from the top of the freezer, front legs extended down to pat-pat Raph’s head. They’d even webbed Raph’s mouth shut.
“They are clearly sentient! This is amazing!”
One of the cheering circle had turned to face the newcomers. It raised itself up in a menacing posture.
Leo stared at Don. Blinked once. “Don…” Words failed him. He changed his grip on the sai, turning his attention back to the spiders.
“They must have been mutated,” Don pondered.
“By the Febreeze?!”
“By something….”
“Postulate of the Obvious, Don. But we have to do something.”
Raph was looking rather freaked--no, angry. Well, both things actually. And the can wielding spiders were preparing to enact their revenge.
It was clear from the way Leo was handling the sai, he was intending to put it to use.
“Leo, we shouldn’t just kill them, they’re intelligent. And spiders are good. They eat all sorts of bad pesty bugs.”
“Vampires, they still creep me out,” Leo snorted. “And maybe these are evil?”
“Raph did spray them first….”
Struggling against the bonds, Raph managed to move the fridge forward an inch, but did not free himself.
“That’s some webbing! Amazing stuff, spider webs.”
“Don!! You don’t want to kill them, and I’ll try to respect that, but we’ve got to help Raph and get them out of here. Now!”
“It’s just a can of Febree--”
Just then a powerful wave of citrus scent roiled through the kitchen as the spiders succeeded in blasting Raph.
“—ze!” Don sneezed.
Eyes watering, coughing, Leo threw the sai at the can, sending it spinning across the kitchen. Then he leapt over the spiders to the stove, grabbing a large pot. “Fine, Don. I’ll do this your way.” Facing off to the spider running at him, he slammed the pot down on the floor over the spider. “Hope you like Mikey’s mac and cheese.”
Don yanked open a drawer near at hand, and whipped out the garbage bags. “Leo! Get the broom! Let’s round up these little doggies!”
Over the next several minutes, a strange battle ensued. The spiders were fast and rather aggressive. Things got knocked over or bumped into during the chase. But Leo would finally maneuver the spiders for Don to scoop into the bag, or actually bat the spiders in for Don, who’d quickly tie the bags shut. The spider on the fridge played a hide and seek game behind the chip bag, to which Leo swept the whole thing off into Don’s bag. “Eh, the ketchup chips,” Leo noted. “No loss,” he smirked.
Raph glared balefully at Leo.
Leo dropped to floor level. The spider making its raids from under the fridge didn’t like the broom invading its place. It came flying straight at Leo’s face. Don bagged it just as Leo rolled back with a gasp of horror.
“There! Got them all!”
“We hope….” Leo shuddered.
They both jumped as the fridge made another grating sound. But it was Raph again. His mood was most definitely pizza'ed off.
“Does this look familiar to you somehow?” Don asked.
“Sorry, bro,” Leo said getting a knife to cut Raph free.
“AAAArgh!!! About time! Let me stomp them!!” Raph moved toward the wriggling bags.
Don put a hand on Raph’s plastron. “Please, Raph. Let me take them far away and let them go. They didn’t poison anyone, they just sprayed you back. Repeat after me: Spiders are good.”
“Duuudes…it STINKS! What did you do? WHOA! I am so not getting blamed for this!”
In the doorway, Mikey was waving his hands in a hopeless attempt to dispel the citrus-laden air. The smell had reached him playing his video game and brought him to investigate. His gaze swept over the disarray, clearly puzzled. “What’s the point of filling all those garbage bags with so little, and then all this stuff—like *this* on the floor! My leftovers!!” he cried.
“No, Mikey!” Leo yelled, as Mike picked up the pot.
Mike’s shriek as the cheesy pasta-coated spider jumped onto his foot nearly shattered all the glass.
Raph dove for the spider and grabbed it before it could scurry away. He held it up. “You listen to me, bug! If I promise not to febreeze you, and you and your spider coalition stay far, far away from me, you get to live. Got it? Truce?”
The spider waved its legs in what seemed to be a yes. Then Don bagged it.
“Okay, I’m out of here. I’ll be back in a while,” Don said, grabbing the bags before anyone changed their minds.
“Th-there was was more than one?” Mike asked in a voice with a slight quivering.
“Seven,” Don said on his way out, looking like some weird kind of Santa Claus heading out with presents to deliver.
“Seven…spiders…” A brief span to contemplate it, and Mike regained his normal state of mind. “Sounds like some kind of horror movie, ‘Raph and the Seven Spiders of Doom’! This is Raph’s fault we got invaded.”
“Mikeeey,” Raph growled and moved closer to bap Mike.
“No! Don’t touch me! Peeyuuu! Raph you smell so fr--”
“DON’T SAY IT!”
As Mike moved to avoid Raph, his foot slipped in the mac and cheese. Before he could finish wiping out, Raph had him pinned.
As the wails went up, Leo opted to seek sanity and faded away. “This place is cursed,” he muttered as the ruckus crashed on.
THE END!
