Have you ever considered dropping your childhood fantasies?

[Jephael]

After a talk I had with my friend Dori this past weekend I realized how hard it is to connect with people my age who clearly aren't into all this chidish comic book/cartoon stuff and it makes me feel bad about myself.

There are times I would like to have a normal life and a closer relationship with my friend, who doesn't think we have a lot in common and this hurts me deeply. She just moved to LA and nearly out of my life to start her career while I'm barely getting by because I've been spending all this time with my head up in the clouds when I could be having a blast out there in sunny California!

Perhaps it is time I grew out of TMNT and all those other super hero characters, but it's very scary for me and I dunno if I'll be able to handle it even if it means having a better life.

[Michaelangelo]

There is different paths for everyone, and just because one person goes off and finds a life without their cartoon heroes doesn't mean it's the right path for the next person.   The world needs all type of people to keep going the way it is, no one should drop their life to please others around them, because in the end it'll just destroy the person inside.  Be who you are, don't go looking to be someone else.

The world needs

Serious people to become  Doctors, lawyers, police, and all that other serious stuff
And relaxed people who can write good stories, draw, edit, sing....


Both play major parts in the world.   So maybe your friend is following one rout, though your heart is telling you to follow the rout closes to you.   Though it shouldn't have to break up the friendship, it's going to be different.  I'm SO different from most people I know it's not funny.  Though I know my real friends will except me for who I am, as I except them for who they are.

[Buslady]

Jephy, never ever grow out of something you love.
Look at me! I'm 35 with a 11 year old, married, job, house and all that "mature responsible adult" stuff, what do I do to escape? Come in here, in my private little TMNT/Computer room and forget. Never give it up just because others just don't get it, fooey on them. You can be that mature dude with other interests, who cares if your number one love is TMNT. I let it expand into real turtles, so when people ask me what led me into keeping turtles...I tell them PROUDLY...Ninja Turtles.

[Donatello]

Since I've had a baby, i've put a lot of this hobby on the backburner cause I don't have the time/energy too keep up with it like I used too.  But it's not forgotten.  I still swing by to chat with you guys.  

Perhaps in your case, Jeph, you should develop some new interests so you could relate to those folks better too.  You don't have to totally give up your interest in the TMNT and the friends you made in it.  It just means you'll have to divide your interests more between them and us.  It's what I do too, between my free time at home, and then the time I spend with others at work, etc.

[klork]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing both!

It's why we see nurses with Scooby Doo scrubs on, secretaries wearing Winnie the Pooh vests, and school bus drivers that have little stuffed anime characters hanging from their rearview windows.

It's why I have a *ton* of tmnt t-shirts that I'm going to pass on to my son, as he's much more likely to fit into them now than I *ever* will.  

My husband supports this house, even though I work, yet he still has Boba Fett in the guest room, a few tote bags full of Rollmaster RP stuff, and a basket FULL of PC games.  Not to mention our PS2 out in the living room, and the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, TMNT, and other random stuff we have up here in our guest room with our computers.

There's NOTHING wrong with keeping a hobby--something you love and enjoy--while you work around real life.  If you took on real life with nothing to...well...have *fun* with afterwards, what on earth would you be working *for*?

Some people move on to have families, but they still keep their hobbies--my dad's retired, well over fifty, and has his own slot car race track in their new house in the basement!  His hobby is cars and models and such like that, airplanes, you name it.  He's saving up to take us all to a NASCAR race with the motor home so we can stay in the middle of the track.

With my mom, it's Girl Scouts and history, and with the two of them together she could probably teach a class based on the history of Girl Scouting & Guiding.  To a point where it could bore my socks off, but I listen, just because when I go on a rant or bout on TMNT or role playing or Geology of our region, she listens, probably bored, but still listens.

You *can* have both, you just have to find a way to give a little on certain parts so that you can make room for reality now and then.

[Aignatius]

Perhaps it is time I grew out of TMNT and all those other super hero characters, but it's very scary for me and I dunno if I'll be able to handle it even if it means having a better life.

Fiddlesticks.  

If it was something that obsessed you, consumed your waking moments so that it interfered with life's responsibilities, and caused you misery, then yes, likely you would benefit from the change.
Otherwise, you aren't going to have a "better" life if you give up stuff you enjoy.

Personally speaking, it was whenever I tried to be something I am not, that I was miserable. It's when I started being more true to myself that I found an improvement in my outlook on life. That, and balancing my responsibilities with having a bit of fun without doing anything that is detrimental to body, soul and the wallet...

 

[Leonardo]

These are great words! What can I add that hasn't already been said?

Sometimes, you may just have to be a little ninja-esque in your comics and TMNT interest for certain people. Shall we describe them as "mundanes"?    Doesn't mean they're no fun, bad, or worthless. It's just being too strong on the comics/TMNT might scare them off.
Maybe these people don't find out about that part of you for some time. You connect with them on other more mundane stuff first, maybe some other interest you have in common. So when the time comes they learn about your comics hobby, it's: "Hey, that's cool!" Even if it's not something they get into or understand, instead of frowning on you for it, they'll respect you for it, because they won't just see you as some "stereotyped scary freaky obsessed comics fan". (Anyone else out there get tired of defending comics/anime/manga/gaming fandom to some people? But that would be a whole another thread, this is Jephael's thread.) And sometimes, some people are even willing to learn more about your hobby. (Which is also to say, don't be afraid to take the effort to learn about their interests and hobbies, too.)
 

Anyway, I agree. Do NOT give it up completely!!!!

[Absaraka]

And I second, third, and fourth all that.  

TMNT gives me an instant shtick at the poker table: everyone knows when I walk in, it's like, Oh, no, it's Ninja again.  I've got the game to back up the legend, at least among the locals (won my second consecutive offline tournament earlier tonight, in fact).  And there's enough banter amongst the players: they respect my TMNT fandom, and a few have even asked me about updates on the next movie.  (I'm just waiting for the trailer to update on iTunes...)

Don't let a couple of mundanes scare you off.  It's YOUR fandom, not theirs, and if they don't get it, it's their loss.

Raka

[Buslady]

and school bus drivers that have little stuffed anime characters hanging from their rearview windows.

THAT'S ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have an vintage Raph plush shoved up behind my student mirror. The kids LOVE my TMNT stuff in the bus

[klork]

and school bus drivers that have little stuffed anime characters hanging from their rearview windows.

THAT'S ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have an vintage Raph plush shoved up behind my student mirror. The kids LOVE my TMNT stuff in the bus

Y'know, I didn't even think of that fact when I wrote that, I just happen to know a few school bus drivers that DO that in the area,  I soooo shoulda put two and two together.

*cackles*

[Aignatius]

Ah yeah. That's a good point, not being obvious about it to people who aren't TMNT-friendly. Until you get to know them better. Then again, sometimes that doesn't make much difference.
Why, I remember somebody who went camping with a bunch of us TMNT-ers once upon a time, and I don't think she was too, uhm... how should I describe it-- happy with our "childish" interests? Oops... oh well. *shrug*
But who's problem was that, anyway? It's not like anybody was pushing it into her face, it just got pretty apparent with the TMNT backpacks, the gummi turtles, and so forth. Hahah!  

[Leonardo]

And, yes, that was the case. Sometimes, there are those that will not be able to deal with it. What's weird is this was not a case of someone not understanding the fun of fandom in general....
This particular person did not take well to not only TMNT comments, but any Star Wars jokes, anything that wasn't in her narrow scope of fandom, which was bascially LotR. It was HER way only for what was acceptable to discuss or goof off with, which on this trip was supposed to be either normal stuff or LotR related jokes/RPingish moments. And we were roundly insulted for our other interests, instead of a polite, "hey, that's great, it's just not my cup of tea."
Now I happen to love LotR, which was how I met her in the first place. And I had been to some LotR events and other hikes with her. But I am not only into LotR, obviously. And neither was everyone else in that group trip that weekend, only into LotR.
And we happened to enjoy a lot of LotR jokes that weekend, including one of our party actually having gone to the Dollar Store and obtained a frying pan, some rope, and a hand-made potato bag which was attached to her backpack, a la Sam!! And I happened to be the only one to remember to bring a One Ring replica, which I stood at the edge of Half Dome and held out over the 4,000' or so drop. (And which got a number of people laughing over it, found out who knew LotR up there!!) And we had our action figures for pictures along the way, and so on. Yes, some people always looked at us funny, but a lot of people would find it amusing, and sometimes offer help!! Fun right? What could be better than geeks on an all day epic adventure hike??
Well....the problem was, any non-LotR jokes was the wreck and ruin. By the end of the trip down from Half Dome, it was nasty. (Anyone else find it coincidental her action figure was always Smeagol?)
And since that time, and her rude treatment of everyone, she has not contacted me, nor have I communicated with her in any way. I don't mind someone not loving something I am into, but being nasty to my other friends, being rude to me? We weren't forcing her to like TMNT (or SW or whatever). But she was outnumbered, when all the the rest of the group was into that stuff! She was the more childish for her behavior than us she called childish, and she sure made everything tense and unfun that night. I can't be friends with people like that.
So you're right, Aig, sometimes it won't matter what you do or don't, so as others have said: so you might as well be true to yourself!! And that's the point of my long-winded ramble. Sorry, Jephael!!!

*did I mention I am supposed to go do Half Dome again next year? I plan on repeating that Ring pose, because that anti-TMNT person whom I no longer speak to, had the picture on her camera of me doing that! And never gave it to me, or any of the other pics from that trip. argh! And even though the person who wants to do that hike is not much into LotR (although she likes Harry Potter), said she'd be more than willing to take the pic for me on my camera.*

[Aignatius]

Egadz! The idea of standing on the edge of a dropoff like that...

Now see, Jephael? Are you in good company or are you not? Are we just nutty, silly, or people who like to have a bit of harmless fun?  At least some of it is ah harmless, for those who don't have a problem with their balance...  

[Terri]

Is it time for you to 'grow out of' the Ninja Turtles?  If you find them boring...yes.  If you still like them...no.  I'm 27 and I grew up on the Turtles.  When I graduated from high school, I didn't enjoy the Next Mutation series at all so I stopped watching.  I didn't stop because someone thought I was 'immature'...it just wasn't the same anymore.  Now i'm back into them and I love it!  You're 25 (or at least that's what your profile says)...you've been old enough for a long time now to be able to decide what you do/do not like.  The whole deal of 'peer pressure' should have stopped long ago.  Someone who would make fun of you for your hobby doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.  Who cares what you're into?  It's your life!

That's my two cents.

[Jephael]

Thankfully my friend never made fun of me or picked on me in any matter about my love for TMNT, but she made it pretty clear that she was far too mature to have any interest in comics, which I find kinda sad since I've always tried to help her gain some interest in that genre. Of course like some of you said not everyone has an open mind about that kinda stuff so I guess whenever I get the chance to talk with Dori again, it'll be better to dwell on other things we might have more in common.

[Terri]

If she's 'too mature' for comics...then let her be 'too mature' for comics.  I'll bet you if I were a fly on her wall, I would find a thing or two she's into that others would consider immature.  Go with what you like, don't let anyone else influence you.  

[Jephael]

Thanks, Terri. I'll also admit too that it sounds like no matter what I do, the chances of her coming back just to see me again are pretty small at this point. Therefore, the best idea is to just let her go for the time being because she's not worth having an emotional outburst!

[Ninjara]

Hi Jephael,
        I just wanted to add my two cents worth....

     Follow your dreams.  Hold fast to the things you valued as a youngster.  For as you go through this world and weather the things that it throws at you, you will find that the worlds you inhabited as a "child" contain the things that keep you youthful, keep you most 'you', and give your life magic.
     When many of your peers have fallen by the wayside, and lost much of their zest for life, you will still find wonder.
      You don't say if there are other passions in your life.  I have found it best to be as multifaceted as you can be, to try many things.....sometimes by exploring a friend's interest you find something you also love doing, or a talent you didn't know you had.  However.....
       Fantasy, imagination.....the world of comic books....you love these.  My motto:  Never give up a part of yourself to please someone else.  You don't have to shove it down their throat if they have no interest in it.  But by the same token, you shouldn't have to be ashamed of it either.
       I am twice as old in earth years, and then some, than you Jephael.  People can never guess that unless I tell them.  The TMNT have been part of my life for 20 years now.  They were preceeded by 30+ years of fantasy stories and art.  It is what I love, and it has become one of the main things that defines me. I touch people's lives through it.  
       If the world of comic books is the main fire in your life, I say stay with it.  Keep your inner child alive, and by so doing, the real you.     Hugs.

[Aignatius]

Well said, Ninjara.          

[Buslady]

and school bus drivers that have little stuffed anime characters hanging from their rearview windows.

THAT'S ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have an vintage Raph plush shoved up behind my student mirror. The kids LOVE my TMNT stuff in the bus

Y'know, I didn't even think of that fact when I wrote that, I just happen to know a few school bus drivers that DO that in the area,  I soooo shoulda put two and two together.

*cackles*

Tell them a driver in SoCal thinks they are awesome cause they do what I do ....          we're few and far in between, but there are some of us cool drivers out there.. im eaasy going, just pay attention to the rules and respect my bus...or I'll sic raph on 'em hahaha

[Leonardo the 2nd]

I myself find it very interesting and cool to see people older than me liking / loving the turtles.

My father often says: "Man always the same. Draw something else...You have to grow up", when he sees me drawing them again.
That goes on my nerves and I simply continue drawing them.
I don't know why to stop liking the turtles only because other people don't and tell me that its immature.. BLA.

[Darth_CJJ]

I've heard it said that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.

TMNT have gotten me through a lot of pain. If someone doesn't like that, f7ck 'em...

People come and go, even people that you thought would never abandon you. You'll always have TMNT. When I go to bed at night, I have to answer to two people: God and myself. I'm getting to the point where I don't care what anyone else thinks.

People will really mess you up if you let them. Especially people of the opposite sex. I've heard that the biggest turn-on is being comfortable in your own skin and being passionate about building a future for yourself. Women find that kind of stuff sexy. I know lots of "comic book nerds" who are in loving relationships with women who love them and care about them for who they are, because they love themselves.

For the most part I'm probably preaching to the choir here, and I could use a dose of my own advice.

[Jephael]

Thanks for the tips, CJJ. I was going through a major funk when I originally posted this, but I feel much better now!

I'm sure I can maintain and improve my friendship with Dori in the future but she's just too out of reach for the time being and it's just not worth griping about anymore! If anything I've been acting too selfishly and not thinking about her needs or interests. That is something I am very ashamed of and I hope someday to make it up to her.

[Brinatello]

Okay, I've avoided this topic like the plague, mainly because I wasn't sure how to approach it.  But, more and more as I think about it, there was probably ONE time I almost stopped liking the TMNT for good, and then I changed my mind.  My sister has a great way of insulting one's interests to the point of making you feel guilty for ever considering being a fan.  She said something to me one time that hurt me so badly, I gave up on TMNT, for a few months I'd say.  I also gave up talking to her directly, only if necessary.  When she realized her error, she came around and stated that I should like it no matter what, yet never apologized!  That's what I was waiting for!  I think she did, somehow apologized without actually saying "I'm sorry" and I still forgave her.  Ever since then, I've been back on TMNT even moreso, along with some other fandoms.  If it makes me happy, I'm never going to give up on it.  I'm rediscovering other fandoms at the moment and getting involved as much as I can.  It's a good stress relief!

[Casey Jones]

I wouldn't say drop a childhood fantasy...unless it's go dress up in public as a Monchichi, then you have issues.  The Turtles have always been a favorite of mine, I still have my toys to this day.  One thing that I'll say about this, is that you can look and know that the memories that you have about these fantasies are what made things fun and enjoyable.  If I look around my place, I'm sure that I can find my old Lazer Tag gear, and at the same time remember how much I always wanted to get the stuff from Photon, but could NEVER find at stores(I still remember the live-action series of that).

Don't give up your childhood fantasies, don't grow up.  It's just like my uncle says, "You're only young once, but you can be immature forever."  Words to live by.

[sadboy]

Thankfully my friend never made fun of me or picked on me in any matter about my love for TMNT, but she made it pretty clear that she was far too mature to have any interest in comics, which I find kinda sad since I've always tried to help her gain some interest in that genre. Of course like some of you said not everyone has an open mind about that kinda stuff so I guess whenever I get the chance to talk with Dori again, it'll be better to dwell on other things we might have more in common.

You can connect with people desite having few things in common. Your closest friends should be the ones you grab unsuspectedly by the hand one day and scream, "Yare yare, yatto ohiru da!" (run through woods) ...Not the people you chat with about autosomal recession of hemochromatosis while drinking white chocolate mocha vanilla frappuccinos.

Honestly, I'm not deeply passionate about TMNT--although, I'm not deeply dispassionate either-- but I'm interested in making a friend or two.

[Mr._Mutant_Man]

Thankfully my friend never made fun of me or picked on me in any matter about my love for TMNT, but she made it pretty clear that she was far too mature to have any interest in comics, which I find kinda sad since I've always tried to help her gain some interest in that genre. Of course like some of you said not everyone has an open mind about that kinda stuff so I guess whenever I get the chance to talk with Dori again, it'll be better to dwell on other things we might have more in common.

If she thinks comics are just for kids, maybe you should point out that Sin City, V for Vendetta, 300, Road to Perdition, and A History of Violence were all adapted from comics. Heck, even some of the superhero stories are more complex and mature than they used to be.

I don't think there is anything wrong with fandom as long as you try to lead a well balanced life.Most people will hopefully see it as being a quirky aspect of your character, and not all that you are.

[Jephael]

Um, actually it's not so much the "kid" factor that bothers her, but just the unrealistic tone of the whole genre itself. She's been raised on some heavy religious values, but she's also level-headed enough to enjoy a good flick every now and then. It's just that she doesn't spend hours upon hours watching television like I do.

Anyway, Dori and I had a nice talk a couple weeks ago on the phone and we're now on good terms but we decided that now's not a good time to work on our friendship since our lives are each on a different path than the other.