Hiya everyone,
As those who know me know, I was injured two years ago at the work place and since than I live almost daily in pain. Sometimes it's not as noticeable as other days are. Though there's days like this past weekend where it's so much pain I can barely focus on more than one thing at a time, walking and standing hurt so much I don't want to do anything but curl up somewhere and hide. This month has been like this a lot, which is why I spend so much time online, it's staying in one place and only focusing on what's going on with the computer screen. Though it makes it hard to react like I normally would, and it makes it hard for me to interact with people if they're visiting at the same time. I'm not use to my attention being like this, the energy in my body competes with the pain, begging for more than one thing to do at a time... so I find myself getting buried in things going on, and not being able to focus on any of it.
The problem I have, as I've told people in the past is RSD check out
http://www.rsds.org for more information on it. I got this by an accident at work back in October 2004, and really there was no help for it till May 2006 since no one was finding out what was wrong with me. Just seeing a swollen hand and me telling them that it hurt anytime they touched it. Starting in May as soon as they found what was wrong with me they would give me nerve blocks to help and man I knew it was helping I just didn't realize how much I was starting to rely on them and how much one appointment would be to me.
In October I had an appointment for one of these nerve block shots on October 25th, though I came down sick. Now I can't have certain meds the week of the shot. Some of which I ended up on because of this cold, so I had to cancel my doctor appointment. Though when we went to make a new appointment they wouldn't be able to get me in till Dec 4th. I knew I wanted my shot, but there was nothing I could do about it.
On Halloween I spent a great day with Brin and Miki at the Zoo, though at the same time even with all the fun I found myself on the ground in pain. I found the pain was starting up early and it hasn't let up sense. Youmacon I would sit down and wanted to cry more than once because of how bad I was feeling. Going on car rides with my mom I'm in the back seat crying at how bad I want my shot. Trying to hang out with friends, I'm feeling my brain just so drained in pain that I don't feel like I'm the best of company. This month has been hell... and this weekend just trippled the pain load. My normal pain over the summer, with 1 being the best and 10 being the worse... was 4 to 6, though this last month the pain level was 6 and up, and this weekend starting on Friday today it's been staying at a steady 8. Where just moving is being hard on me.
So I'm really sorry to those that I haven't talked to as much this weekend. I was around both Friday & Saturday evenings and nights, but my brain just wasn't with me. I couldn't focus... saying my hi's was the best I could do. I start trying to talk to people and find myself just lost from what I was doing. I'm really sorry about this.
The Good news is I'm getting my shot tomorrow, so all will be good soon. Though... I guess I just needed to rant about how bad it's been this month.
I hate it, my life is different... all I really want is a cure.
