I was going to keep this as a PM, but the results of this reading were so strong I think it needs to be out in the open. And before anyone asks, no, I did NOT stack the deck for this--this was an open shuffle, and I mixed these cards well. And yes, I know how to shuffle a deck of cards: I play organized poker.
I'm using my Archangel Oracle cards. In a traditional reading with these, you draw three cards: one for the past, one for the present, and one for the future.
Here's what I got when I asked about your situation:
PAST: PRIORITIZE
Archangel Metatron: "Focus on your highest priorities. I will help you to get organized and motivated."
Now, based on what I'm reading in your post, that's pretty much spot-on. If you're force-feeding yourself to have to keep from starving, obviously, there's a priority or two here that needs to be looked at. And I think that for now, you need to focus on just BEING. Don't let love knock you so far into the clouds that you lose contact with the ground.
Remember that scene in "Sleepless in Seattle" when Tom Hanks's character is on the phone with the radio show? I don't have this in front of me, but he says something to the effect that he's going to get out of bed, he's going to live his life, and eventually, he won't HAVE to remind himself to get out of bed. I know it's a chick flick, but I'm getting the sense, CJJ, that it might do you some good to watch this. Just a recommendation.
And I think that's what Metatron is trying to tell you with this card: get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and live your life to the fullest. Love is a wonderful thing, but don't let it take you away from being CJJ.
PRESENT: COMFORT
Archangel Azrael: "I am with you in your time of need, helping your heart to heal."
This one's interesting, because it's from Azrael, who's traditionally depicted as the Angel of Death. Now, don't panic: this does not by itself mean that anyone around you is about to die. If anything, Azrael is one of the most gentle angels of them all, because he deals with a part of life which all of us have difficulty facing. I've dealt with him more than once when going through a bereavement, and if anything, he's done a better job helping me through that than even Archangel Raphael. So if he's around to lend you some comfort right now, accept that. He knows how to give comfort for loss of a loved one, which is when one most needs comforting. And if he can give comfort for that, I'd imagine that he can also work well with unrequited love.
PAST AND PRESENT TOGETHER:
This looks like a fairly powerful combination here. With Metatron working to help you with your priorities, and Azrael working to heal your heart, you've got some fairly major players assisting you right now. And as your priorities fall in line, the comfort you'll be getting from Azrael should increase the positive energies from that even further.
FUTURE: OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES
Archangel Jeremiel: "The worst is now behind you, and you are surmounting any previous challenges."
I repeat, I did not stack the deck.
Kidding aside, I don't think there's much I can add to that. You've gone through a very rough couple of days, but typing it out and talking it out with your loved ones from RL will help you get through this. If we take this card at face value, it's only going up from here. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and no, it's not the headlight of an oncoming train. Hang in there!
Remember, this is a card representing the FUTURE. This may not be resolved in time for tomorrow night's evening news. If this were in the Present, I'd say the worst is already behind you. But with this in the Future position, things might not get better right away. This is an indication that they will, and soon. But you might not be completely out of the woods just yet. Again, hang in there. Once things start going up, they'll only get better from there. Patience, Grasshopper.
FUTURE AND PRESENT:
This is going to amplify Azrael's help even further. With the worst soon to be behind you, and knowing it can only get better from there, the help you get from Azrael should help you overcome the storm you're in now even more quickly.
FUTURE AND PAST:
As you focus more and more on your priorities, things will improve. If anything, with the worst soon to be behind you, you should begin to see just what needs which priority where.
TAKEN TOGETHER:
What I get the sense of here, is that things are about to start snowballing for the better for you. You're not completely done with the hard parts yet, but once things start breaking your way, they'll start to get better, then Better, then BETTER. Trees don't grow all the way to the sky, mind you. But things will look up for you, soon. If I were you, I would try to work with Metatron to make sure you have all your ducks in a row. Take comfort from Azrael, and know that things will get better from here.
And finally:
When life seems like a pointless joke, and your rewards are few;
Remember that the mighty oak...
...was once a nut like you.
Be blessed, and above all, hang in there.
Absaraka Windholder
